Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is a 2009 British-American fantasy film distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. It is based on the novel of the same name by J. K. Rowling, the sixth instalment in the Harry Potter film series, and the sequel to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007). It was directed by David Yates (the director of the previous film), written by Steve Kloves and produced by David Heyman and David Barron. The story follows Harry Potter during his sixth year at Hogwarts as he becomes obsessed with a mysterious textbook, falls in love, and attempts to retrieve a memory that holds the key to Lord Voldemort's downfall.
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Julie Walters, Bonnie Wright, Gary Oldman, Emma Thompson, Michael Gambon, Evanna Lynch and Helena Bonham Carter all reprise their roles from the previous movies. They are joined by Jim Broadbent as Horace Slughorn. Filming began in September 2007. The movie was released in theatres July 15, 2009, one day short of the fourth anniversary of the corresponding novel's release. The film was simultaneously released everywhere except North America, where its IMAX release was delayed for two weeks.
Half-Blood Prince opened to positive reviews along with immediate commercial success, breaking the record for the biggest single-day worldwide gross. In five days the film made $394 million, breaking the record for highest five-day worldwide gross. With a total gross of $934 million, that year it ranked the 8th-highest-grossing film of all time, and the second-highest-grossing film of 2009 (behind Avatar). It was also popular in U.S. as indicated by U.S. box office, ranking among the top ten in 2009. It is currently the 34th-highest-grossing film of all time worldwide unadjusted for inflation. It is the fifth-highest-grossing film in the franchise.
The film was nominated at the 82nd Academy Awards for Best Cinematography and the 63rd British Academy Film Awards for Best Special Visual Effects and Best Production Design. Half-Blood Prince remains one of the most positively reviewed films in the series among film critics; at the time of its release, it became the third-highest-rated Harry Potter film on review aggregators Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic. Critics praised the film's "emotionally satisfying" story, Yates' direction, cinematography, performances, visuals, and Nicholas Hooper's musical score.
A Sequel, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1, was released the following year. Another sequel, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2, was released the year after that.
- 1 Story
- 2 Plot
- 3 Cast
- 4 Crew
- 5 Production
- 6 Release
- 7 Awards
- 8 Soundtrack
- 9 Videogame
- 10 Trivia
- 11 Images
- 12 Videos
- 13 Cinema Sin Video Transcript
- 14 Home Media
- 15 Sequels
The story follows Harry Potter, and his closest friends, during his sixth year at Hogwarts, when he falls in love. He uses the advice, added into a textbook by a mysterious author, to succeed at potions. He attempts to retrieve a memory, from Slughorn, that can guide him to Lord Voldemort's downfall.
Harry Potter, now age 16-year-old, meets Dumbledore. They visit former Potions professor Horace Slughorn, who has gone into hiding. Slughorn agrees to return to teach at Hogwarts. Dumbledore fixes the damage in the home and then takes Harry to his nearest friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. He develops a relationship with Ron's younger sister Ginny Weasley.
On the train, Hogwarts Express, Harry eavesdrops on Draco using the Invisibility Cloak. He lies on the baggage shelf, hoping Draco did not notice. Once the train arrives and the students (including Ron and Hermione) exit, Draco uses Petrificus Totalus on the invisible Harry. He pulls off the cloak and stomps on Harry's nose; breaking it. Then Draco covers him saying, "enjoy the ride back to London". After Draco is gone, Harry's close friend, Luna Lovegood rescues him with the Finite incantatum spell. This ends Draco's curse. She was able to find him due to his head being full of Wrackspurts. They walk to the school.
Draco Malfoy secretly prepares a pathway for the dark wizards to invade Hogwarts. Voldemort sent him to kill Albus Dumbledore.
Cinema Sin Video Transcript
- 24 seconds of logo.
- Why did Harry and Dumbledore wait around at the Ministry after the big fight with Voldemort for the DOZENS of news crews to show up? Especially if he's gonna be ushering him away from the press like he doesn't want Harry to go through that pressure? I mean...damn.
- Hmm, storm clouds in London...Better go to the window to witness this extremely rare occurrence.
- These three smoke monster guys destroy a bridge that everyone conveniently runs off before it sinks into the water.
- [WAITRESS: (sees HARRY reading the Daily Prophet) Harry Potter...who's Harry Potter?] Why is Harry reading the magic newspaper containing moving pictures in a non-magic public-ass place?! [WAITRESS: A couple of nights ago, I could've sworn I saw a picture move.] That's what I'm SAYING!!!
- [HARRY: Hey I was wondering- WAITRESS: 11:00. That's when I get off.] Damn, that's specific!
- [DUMBLEDORE appears after a train goes past, in front of a billboard advert for perfume which says: "Divine Magic".] Billboard irony.
- Well, well, if it isn't that wand-blocker Dumbledore...wanting to talk to Harry after spending the entire previous year NOT talking to Harry.
- [DUMBLEDORE: (about his blackened hand) The tale is thrilling if I say so myself...but now is not the time to tell it.] Because...reasons.
- [HARRY: (outside SLUGHORN's current residence with DUMBLEDORE) Actually, sir, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.] You go with it, despite the fact that no one has ever taken you to The Hufflepuff to stick your Slytherin in someone's Gryffindor.
- [DUMBLEDORE: Wands out, Harry.] Oh wait. Maybe I underestimated Dumbledore!
- [Now in SLUGHORN's current house, blood drips from the ceiling onto Harry's head.] "Blood drips from the ceiling to let character know to look up" cliché.
- [DUMBLEDORE licks the blood from Harry's head.] Blood tasting.
- [Camera pans to a chair - SLUGHORN in disguise.] Come on. Did this guy really not know his feet were sticking out of the chair?
- Also how did licking the blood drop from Harry's head tell Dumbledore, "Hmm...better give that CHAIR a closer look!"?
- [SLUGHORN: I never stay anywhere more than a week.] Then how did Dumbledore know where to find—oh f*cking forget it.
- [SLUGHORN: (about HARRY's mother, LILY) Even more impressive when one considers she was Muggle-born.] That's racist.
- [HARRY: One of my best friends is Muggle-born. She's the best in our year.] And yet you keep getting all the credit.
- [SLUGHORN: Your mother was one of my absolute favourites. Look, there she is! (points to a photograph of her on the desk)] Wait, just a minute ago you said: "The Muggles who own this place are in the Canary Islands." But now we're supposed to believe you have pictures of all the people who are important to you, one of them just happening to be Harry's mom, sitting here in this Muggle house?
- Also, you said: "I never stay anywhere more than a week." So that means you're carrying around 19 framed pictures to a new place every week?
- [SLUGHORN: (looking at a picture of REGULUS) You'll no doubt know of his older brother, Sirius. Died a few weeks ago.] Harry is in the news everywhere because of the showdown at the Ministry of Magic, which is where Sirius died. So, how does Slughorn know that Sirius died, but not know that Harry was there when it happened?
- [DUMBLEDORE: Professor Slughorn is going to try to collect you, Harry.] And that's all I need to say about that.
- [DUMBLEDORE: That's why he's returning to Hogwarts, and it's crucial he should return.] But I won't tell you why until much, much later, if at all.
- [DUMBLEDORE: I feel I may have stolen a wondrous night from you, Harry.] Magical cock-blocking.
- [HARRY is Apparated into a pool of water in a marsh, just outside the WEASLEYS' house.] Dumbledore is a dick.
- [HARRY is now in the WEASLEYS' house, being greeted by GINNY, and then HERMIONE.] Is there ever a time when this pan ISN'T getting magically scrubbed in the sink?
- [BELLATRIX: (in SNAPE's house with him and NARCISSA) Make the Unbreakable Vow.] Franchise waits until the 6th movie to mention the unbreakable vow thing, which is no doubt super important but not really.
- Also, if an "Unbreakable Vow" exists and is so powerful, why not use it to do something impossible, like "I vow to impress Kate Upton with my considerable math skills."?
- [BELLATRIX: (stating the vows to SNAPE and NARCISSA] And, if Draco should fail, will you yourself carry out the deed...] Movie is jumping up and down trying to tell you everything about the ending right here in the first 20 minutes. Which makes you wonder why they bothered with the other 2 hours and ten minutes, but whatever. Foreshadowing!! You are AMAZED!!
- [BELLATRIX:...the Dark Lord has ordered Draco to perform? SNAPE: I will. (Unbreakable Vow spell's glow disappears)] How did the glowing magic wrist thing know that this was the end of all the vows?
- [Cut to FRED and GEORGE inside their shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.] Dick shop.
- [HARRY, RON and HERMIONE walk into an abandoned and wrecked Ollivander's Wand Shop.] Hey, let's go into the bombed out former wand store so that plot can happen. Brilliant!
- [RON: Is it me, or do Draco and Mummy look like two people who don't want to be followed?] Okay, first of all, Draco would CLEARLY have seen you assholes, since you literally JUST walked into this place from the same street before saying this.
- And second...are there people who WANT to be followed?
- Also, does every single plot point in the Harry Potter universe hinge on someone overhearing something, or being in the right place to see something at the right time?
- ALSO, why do the Malfoys walk to this super-secret meeting place out in the open where anyone can see where they're going? Don't THEY have the ability to magically transport like we've seen all the good guys do in this series? I'm just saying that if I had been Voldemort in this series, I would have won.
- City planners made it amazingly easy to eavesdrop on people no matter where they go in their own house.
- [HARRY, RON and HERMIONE are on the roof.] How did they get up there on—oh, never mind.
- [GREYBACK closes the blinds in Borgin and Burke's] You'd think that would be one of the first tasks when calling a secret meeting.
- [GINNY is on the Hogwarts Express, wearing a Pygmy Puff on her shoulder.] Shoulder troll.
- [GINNY: (taking a copy of The Quibbler from LUNA) What's a Wrackspurt? LUNA: They're invisible creatures, they float in your ears and make your brain go fuzzy.] Oh, cool. What?
- [HARRY: (on the train with RON and HERMIONE) So, what was Draco doing with that weird-looking cabinet? And who were all those people?] And why did I wait all the way until f*cking NOW to ask these questions?
- [HARRY: It's happened. He's one of them.] Pronoun game.
- [DRACO: (on the train, about Hogwarts) What a pathetic excuse for a school.] Evil Harry Potter is right.
- [DRACO is still on the train, closing the door to the carriage where Harry is hiding underneath the Cloak of Invisibility.] Apparently, Malfoy can just stay on the train with a whole car to himself without anyone noticing or caring.
- [LUNA enters the carriage, opening the door, wearing a pair of Spectrespecs.] Why is Luna still on the damn train? You've got to be kidding me with this s*it.
- Thankfully, Luna ALSO just happens to be wearing super-secret 3D magic glasses that allow her to find Harry.
- [HARRY: (now visible again, to LUNA) How did you know where I was? LUNA: Wrackspurts. Your head's full of them!] Yeah, but you didn't notice that until you walked into this car for absolutely no explained reason.
- [HARRY is now in the Great Hall, sitting on the Gryffindor table, a tissue held to his bleeding nose.] Why is Harry's nose still bleeding? Didn't Malfoy kick him like, an hour ago? Then Luna fixed his nose, and now he comes in with this thing, like it just happened or something?
- [HARRY: What have I missed? RON: The Sorting Hat urged us all to be brave and strong in these troubled times.] Since when does the Sorting Hat have important things to say, and do anything other than tell people what house they go to?
- [SLUGHORN's Potions class, HARRY and RON have arrived late. They get their books from the cupboard, in which there are two, one old and one new. They both fight to get the newer one.] And here's where I point out the avalanche of convenience that leads Harry to the Half-Blood Prince's book, capped off with the oh-so clever "one old book/one new book" stand-off with Ron. F*cking bravo, you maestros.
- [SLUGHORN is showing the students in Potions class the Amortentia love potion, which all the girls are drawn to.] Only girls are inexplicably drawn to the love potion. All they want to do is get married and have kids. They should, in fact, just drop out now and find a husband before they turn into old maids.
- [SLUGHORN: (holding up a small glass vial) Liquid luck. Desperately tricky to make, disastrous should you get it wrong.] But there IS a way to make it, so...why aren't there gallons of this s*it? And let's say Voldemort had some of it, and Dumbledore had some of it...who would the luck potion favor then?
- [SLUGHORN: One sip and you will find that all of your endeavours succeed.] My only question is...the f*ck haven't we heard about this potion or seen it used dozens of times already during the trials and tribulations these assholes have endured?!?! And don't give me that "it's tricky to make" s*it, either, like this series has always done with "rare magical items". Something this useful would have been mass-produced by now.
- [HARRY: (preparing the Sopophorus beans) You crush it, don't cut it. HERMIONE: No, the instructions specifically say to cut.] And why is that? Was the book translated from Sanskrit or something? Why is the TEXTBOOK'S RECIPE WRONG?!
- [HARRY is with DUMBLEDORE, in the latter's office.] Dumbledore asks Harry if he's into Hermione and then dismisses the topic as soon as Harry says he isn't, because, let's be honest, that was for you, the audience, and not for anyone actually in this scene.
- [Cut to DUMBELDORE's memory of the first time he met TOM RIDDLE/VOLDEMORT.] Dumbledore's memory of his first meeting with Tom Riddle is so vivid, he remembers a photograph of a place that just so happens to be of major importance to the entire story.
- [RIDDLE: I can speak to snakes, too. They find me. Is that normal for someone like me?] Dumbledore must have left out his part of the memory where he completely and utterly disregarded this question.
- [DUMBLEDORE: Did I know I'd just met the most dangerous Dark Wizard of all time? No.] But...how?!
- [DUMBLEDORE: You see, Professor Slughorn possesses something I desire very dearly.] But I'm not going to say what it is yet because screw you, that's why.
- [HARRY: You said Professor Slughorn would try to collect me.] Yeah, what the f*ck did you mean by that?
- [HARRY: Do you want me to let him?] Wait, you know what the f*ck he meant by that?
- [DRACO is in the Room of Requirement, walking to the Vanishing Cabinet, holding a green apple.] Malfoy always has an apple on hand, just in case he needs to eat it and look even more like an asshole.
- [Cut to the Gryffindor Quidditch team tryouts. HERMIONE is in the crowd.] Why does one team's Quidditch tryouts have such a large spectator turnout? And why is Hermione here instead of studying? I know she likes Ron in the romantic way, but still...she didn't even bring books?
- [RON: Keepers need to be quick, agile. CORMAC: (squashes a fly as it flies past)] Discount Daniel San.
- [CORMAC: Think you could introduce me to your friend Granger? Wouldn't mind, uh, getting on a first name basis, know what I mean?] Dude, you're the handsomest guy in Hogwarts...you can't work up the courage to talk to Hermione? She's a little bunny, and you're a bear...and you're looking and these claws and these fangs and you're like, "How do I kill the bunny?"
- Okay, movie shows us Hermione looking at Ron, then the other Keeper tryout dude, who is obviously looking back and flirting...and THEN cuts to the wide shot to show you how ridiculously impossible it would be for all that eye contact to happen!
- [HERMIONE: (casting a spell under her breath) Confundus.] Okay, first of all, here's the Harry Potter universe again, giving us the finger regarding the need for wands to do magic.
- Second of all, cheating.
- This is an awful small sample size to judge your keepers. I mean, a couple of throws decides who's going to be on the team? Shouldn't this process be at least a week, with lots and lots of chances seen before you make your decision?
- [GINNY: (holding Harry's copy of Advanced Potion-Making) Who's the Half-Blood Prince?] Roll credits.
- [HARRY, RON and HERMIONE are in Hogsmeade. HARRY: Does anyone fancy a Butterbeer?] No! I've been to your Wizarding World and I've had your "butterbeer" and it's disgusting. Cream soda, crossed with marshmallow, crossed with 15 pounds of sugar. You turned "sweet" into a swear word!
- [SLUGHORN is now with HARRY, RON and HERMIONE in The Three Broomsticks, talking about the upcoming Slug Club dinner party. SLUGHORN: You'd be welcome too, Granger!] And f*ck you Ron!
- [SLUGHORN: (to RON) Good to see you, Wallenby!] Haha! He can't remember Ron's name! Classic!
- [Outside The Three Broomsticks, where KATIE BELL has been cursed by the necklace. HARRY, RON and HERMIONE are watching the scene from a few feet back. LEANNE: I warned her not to touch it!] Major plot thing happens at the exact same time Harry and company leave the bar.
- [KATIE is now floating in mid-air.] None of these students with magical powers do ANYTHING while this girl is hovering in the air.
- [HAGRID walks towards the scene. HAGRID: Get back, all of you!] Good thing Hagrid just happens to be here!
- [Back in Hogwarts, HARRY, RON and HERMIONE are in front of PROFESSOR McGONAGALL. McGONAGALL: Why is it, when something happens, it is always you three?] Were you not briefed on how they were just minding their own goddamn business?
- [SNAPE: (lifting the necklace using a levitation spell, for safety) I think Miss Bell...is lucky to be alive.] It's pretty lucky that every student at Hogwarts has survived every single attempted murder since year one. Might be because there's magic for everything.
- [HARRY and RON are in separate beds, in the Gryffindor dormitories. RON: Hermione's got nice skin...wouldn't you say? As skin goes, I mean. HARRY: I've never really thought about it.] Liar.
- [SLUGHORN and HARRY are talking about RIDDLE/VOLDEMORT after the dinner party. SLUGHORN: If the monster existed [when he was a student], it was buried deep within.] Then why did you cast such a creepy kid to play Tom Riddle in the Dumbledore flashback? Seems to me the monster not only existed, but was right on the damn surface.
- [HARRY, RON, HERMIONE and LUNA are sitting in the Great Hall, on the Gryffindor table, before the Quidditch game against Slytherin. LUNA is dressed as a lion, the Gryffindor mascot.] You get the sense that Luna is the Lady Gaga of this group? Maybe like she's just being weird for the sake of being weird?
- [Cut to the Gryffindor vs Slytherin match.] We're in the sixth movie and Quidditch is somehow still a big deal. Like, Voldemort is out there and recruiting people and readying for war...but we still need to watch Quidditch matches in this movie.
- [HERMIONE and HARRY are stood next to each other, discussing Harry supposedly putting Felix felicis in Ron's drink before the match. HERMIONE: You didn't put it in.] But it took Luna Lovegood's keen eyes to even bring up the idea that you put something in his drink earlier. You didn't tell Ron about it until she started opening up her weird yap.
- [RON starts kissing LAVENDER BROWN, right in front of HARRY and, more crucially, HERMIONE.] Have we seen Hermione and Ron joking with each other, touching each other, ANY kind of clue that they were attracted to each other? There is absolutely no chemistry between them. Just because a book or a movie SAYS two people are going to be together, doesn't mean the attraction was there all along.
- [HARRY and HERMIONE are sat on stairs, discussing what they've just seen, comparing it to how HARRY feels when he sees GINNY with DEAN THOMAS. RON and LAVENDER then walk into the area unknowingly.] Hogwarts is big enough for Harry to have to do a bit of looking around in order to find Hermione but small enough for Ron and kissy-pants to just traipse right by on accident.
- [HERMIONE starts crying.] It's RON WEASLEY.
- [HARRY and HERMIONE are in the library.] Magic makes the human component in book-filing largely unnecessary.
- [HERMIONE: (talking to HARRY about plus-one options for SLUGHORN's Christmas party) That's Romilda Vane.] Man, is this whole movie going to be Love, Actually?
- [HERMIONE: Hey! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen One!] Okay, A, he IS. And B, HE'S only interested in HER because YOU just pointed her out as a possible date.
- [DRACO is in the Room of Requirement, removing an apple with a bite taken out of it from the Vanishing Cabinet.] Someone...or someTHING...ate the apple and was an asshole.
- Also, why do the evil forces need to TEST their magic teleportation cabinet that obviously was built for this very purpose?
- Also, I guess this is something that takes an entire f*cking school year to learn? You know, so we can go through all the damn teen angst this movie has to offer.
- [HERMIONE and HARRY are at SLUGHORN's Christmas party, stood outside the tent. HERMIONE's plus-one has been revealed. HARRY: Cormac?! That's who you invited?!] I know, right. He's ALREADY IN THE SLUG CLUB!!! He was coming here tonight regardless!
- [CORMAC: (throws up on SNAPE's shoes) SNAPE: You've just bought yourself a month's detention, McClaggen.] This is a private party, and not a school function, and...vomiting is a month's detention? You've got to be s*itting me.
- [SNAPE and DRACO are in a corridor, talking about how DRACO cannot be caught whilst carrying out his mission, as SNAPE made the Unbreakable Vow that he would protect him to NARCISSA.] I believe it was Snape in the earlier movie who somehow knew Harry was eavesdropping on the teachers outside Dumbledore's office, right, and said "This conversation is no longer private," right? But here...NO IDEA he's being listened to surreptitiously.
- [HARRY and RON are on the train. RON: An Unbreakable Vow? You're sure that's what Snape said?] Harry waits until they get on a train to discuss the thing he overheard. Did he just keep this information to himself, thinking, "Man, if only we could get on a train and I can finally discuss this!"?
- [HARRY: What happens if you break an Unbreakable Vow?] I though the very meaning of the term was that you physically could NOT break it.
- [At the WEASLEYS' house, where a Christmas cake is shown at the dinner table. A moving cake-topper is atop the cake.] Plenty of magic to go around in this world during a time when everyone's scared of a massive threat. We can't protect the children, but we can make cake-toppers dance, so we got that going for us.
- [HARRY is discussing SNAPE's mention of an Unbreakable Vow with LUPIN, TONKS and ARTHUR WEASLEY. TONKS: Perhaps Harry's right, Remus. I mean, to make an Unbreakable Vow-] These people can't just find out from Dumbledore that Snape's allegiance to his vow is part of his double-double-cross?! Is there ANY reason they don't have the understanding of this s*it that Albus does?
- [HARRY is discussing DRACO's activities with ARTHUR, as he knows more about the topic. ARTHUR: It's a Vanishing Cabinet. HARRY: A vanishing cabinet?] I know, right? Why haven't we ever heard of these things before? No franchise in HISTORY gets more mileage out of "making s*it up as they go along" than this one does!
- [There is now a fire in the field outside the WEASLEYS' house. The adult wizards are trying to work their way through to find HARRY, as he has gone to chase after BELLATRIX. GINNY runs past to follow him.] So two bad-ass wizard adults struggle with the fire after Harry jumps through, and then GINNY just runs by, like, Tra-la-la? Are you f*cking kidding me?
- [HARRY and GINNY are in the long grass, along with some DEATH EATERS.] Any spells you can cast to STUPEFY Harry and Ginny and maybe APPARATE Harry to Voldemort? Especially since you can't kill them because of the stupid "save them for Voldemort" rule?
- [The WEASLEYS' house is destroyed by the DEATH EATERS.] Why didn't they do that in the first place?
- Why is the family that uses magic to scrub pans and move cake-toppers worried about a simple fire? Can't they just magic up themselves a new shoe house?
- [DUMBLEDORE and HARRY are in the former's office. HARRY is lifting his head from the Pensieve after viewing SLUGHORN's altered memory of TOM RIDDLE. DUMBLEDORE: Confused? I'd be surprised if you weren't.] Since I've been intentionally keeping crucial information from you.
- [HARRY: But why would he tamper with his own memory?] Yeah, why stop at tampering? Surely there's a spell that would make you forget something completely?
- [RON and HARRY are in the Gryffindor common room. RON has eaten chocolates intended for HARRY, which contained a love potion; due to the strength, most likely Amortentia. RON: I think I love her! HARRY: Well...brilliant!] Why is it that when someone is obviously acting strangely in this world, no one immediately thinks "curse" or "charm" or "that guy might not be Ron at all."? Must be Ron getting into the liquor cabinet again! Glug, glug!
- [RON: Do you think she knows I exist? HARRY: I bloody well hope so! She's been snogging you for three months. RON: Snogging? Who are you talking about?] You mean Ron's been playing the pronoun game this entire time? Jeez, this was the "long con" version of it.
- [HARRY and RON are in SLUGHORN's room with him, as he has an antidote to the love potion.] Fortunately for Harry, Ron gets stung by some kind of weird love potion that gives him the perfect excuse to get back into Slughorn's good graces.
- [RON is in a bed in the Hospital Wing. HERMIONE and GINNY are at the bedside. DUMBLEDORE, HARRY, SLUGHORN, McGONAGALL, LAVENDER and MADAM POMFREY are also in the room. LAVENDER and HERMIONE are arguing over each other's presence at RON's side. HERMIONE: And for the record, I've always found him interesting!] Love how all the teachers are just silently absorbing the teen romance drama unfolding in front of them, as though there aren't more important topics to discuss or things to do.
- [DRACO is walking up the stairs, presumably to the Room of Requirement. HARRY is, unbeknownst to DRACO, following the latter to monitor his activities, trying to find out what he's up to.] Draco has no peripheral vision or spatial awareness whatsoever to NOT see Harry right now.
- Also, I know Draco's been doing this a lot this year, but what convenient timing for him to walk by mysteriously JUST as Harry is walking alone...mysteriously.
- [DRACO is now in the Room of Requirement, and places a small bird into the Vanishing Cabinet.] A reminder, it's past Christmas, and Draco's vanishing cabinet experiments have only graduated from apple to small bird.
- Why was the vanishing cabinet 6th on the list of all of Voldemort's potential "Hogwarts/Harry Defeat" plans? Doesn't this seem easier than several of the previous plans he's bafflingly gone with ahead of this one?
- [HERMIONE, RON and HARRY are in the Great Hall, sat together. HERMIONE: Stop it, Ron. You're making it snow!] Now magic doesn't even have to be done ON PURPOSE to happen?
- [HARRY and DRACO are having a wand fight (hehe, wand fight) in the boys' bathrooms. HARRY: Sectumsempra!] Harry uses a spell he literally just read the name of in a book five minutes ago without knowing what it does. Hell, I'm surprised he could even pronounce it correctly on the first try, recalling his ridiculous butchering of Diagon Alley in the second film.
- [SNAPE has now entered the room, seen DRACO affected by HARRY's spell, and is healing DRACO as HARRY exits.] So, even when someone casts a spell that causes this much blood loss, there's a spell that keeps them alive.
- [HARRY is now in the Gryffindor common room with RON, HERMIONE and GINNY.] Apparently, Harry is just allowed to chill with his friends after nearly committing a murder, and no inquiries are necessary.
- [GINNY: (about the Half-Blood Prince's book) We have to get rid of it. Today.] Or, simply don't use the spells out of the book that explicitly say, "For enemies" on it. That would work too.
- [HARRY and GINNY are side by side. HARRY: The Room of Requirement.] Wait, so after the last movie, they just stuffed this Room of Requirement full of junk like a warehouse. And not only that, but Draco's been coming in here all year to kill birds and teleport apples but he was allowed in because...he REALLY NEEDED it? The f*ck is going on here?
- [GINNY: We need to hide the Half-Blood Prince's book where no one will ever find it, including you.] When you see Parallax in this room, you'll understand why this is a bad idea. Just destroy the thing!
- [HARRY has drunk the Felix felicis potion, aka, liquid luck. He is now devising a plan with RON and HERMIONE as to how to retrieve SLUGHORN's real memory with TOM RIDDLE. HERMIONE: Slughorn usually eats early, takes a walk, and then returns to his office.] How many nights did you stake out the Marauder's Map to know his schedule this f*cking well? Harry JUST thought of the liquid luck idea, like...in the last scene, man!!!
- [HARRY, HAGRID and SLUGHORN are stood before ARAGOG's dead body, the spider that HARRY and RON visited to gain more information about what really happened the first time the Chamber of Secrets was opened. SLUGHORN: (impressed at Aragog's size) Merlin's beard!] If this character had said "Merlin's beard" just ONE more time in this movie, we would have been compelled by common sense to make a Bonus Round.
- [HAGRID: (choking back tears) Seriously misunderstood characters, spiders are.] Yeah, but in The Chamber of Secrets, this one in particular was going to kill Ron and Harry before the magic car came and saved them. I think these spiders are properly understood.
- Spider funeral.
- Also, movie over 2 and a half hours long has time for THE SPIDER FUNERAL!!
- [HARRY, HAGRID and SLUGHORN are in HAGRID's hut, having a drink or two after ARAGOG's funeral. SLUGHORN is drunk, as is HAGRID.] He's drunk now, so surely he'll start spilling the secrets Harry needs. And what's a guy like me to say about the convenience of that s*it when the screenplay already excused it with Liquid Luck Ex Machina?
- [We, along with Harry, are viewing SLUGHORN's real memory of TOM RIDDLE. They are discussing the splitting of the soul and the creation of Horcruxes. RIDDLE: Can you only split the soul...once? For instance, isn't seven- SLUGHORN: Seven?!] In the near future, this conversation will take place about splitting movies into seven parts. And all of our souls will be broken that day.
- [HARRY and DUMBLEDORE are discussing Voldemort's Horcruxes. HARRY: They could be hidden anywhere, couldn't they? DUMBLEDORE: True. But magic, especially Dark Magic...leaves traces.] I'm assuming that despite the fact they leave traces...you're still going to have to kind of know where they are...and this will still not be in any way easy. Too bad there isn't a way to make some sort of liquid that creates luck for this situation.
- [HARRY: It's where you've been going, isn't it sir? When you leave the school. DUMBLEDORE: Yes. And I think, perhaps, I may have found another.] F*cking WHAT? You JUST SAID: "This is beyond anything I imagined." So...which is it, asshole?! You either hadn't imagined it OR you've been investigating it for months!
- [DUMBLEDORE and HARRY are up on the Astronomy Tower, about to go to find a Horcrux. DUMBLEDORE: Forgive my mawkishness, Harry. I'm an old man. HARRY: You still look the same to me, sir.] At least since the 3rd movie.
- [DUMBLEDORE: You must obey every command I give you.] Voldemort split his soul into seven Horcruxes. But he decided that only one of them needed to be an RPG adventure to find.
- [DUMBLEDORE and HARRY are now on a tiny island near where the cave is: inside that cave is where one of Voldemort's Horcruxes is hidden.] Well, sure am glad that Voldemort kept a nice picture of this place in his orphan room that a memory somehow remembered.
- [HARRY and DUMBLEDORE are now inside the cave, trying to get to the Horcrux. DUMBLEDORE: (drawing blood from himself) In order to gain passage, payment must be made.] How about...just not making it in any way possible for any kind of passage? Was Voldemort planning on coming back here to visit his Horcrux?
- [DUMBLEDORE: (sees a bright, shining light) There it is. The only question is, "how do we get there?"] I don't know...Apparate, maybe?
- He's calling a boat out of the water, but...it's kind of hard to believe that in a world with a spell that makes cake-toppers dance, there's not also a spell just to create a boat and plop it right where you're standing.
- [DUMBLEDORE has finished drinking the Emerald Potion that was protecting the Horcrux. DUMBLEDORE: Harry...water.] How about casting the Aguamenti spell directly into his mouth? Or have him cup his hands? Oh well, I guess there are no options other than to drink the dirty cave water.
- [The INFERI start to approach HARRY and DUMBLEDORE.] Army of Discount Gollums.
- Is this a good time to ask whether a Patronus Charm is strictly for Dementors? Couldn't it help in this situation, too?
- [Cut to the Room of Requirement. Some DEATH EATERS are coming out of the Vanishing Cabinet.] Seriously, why did it take this long for the teleporting cabinet thing to work? And just in time for Dumbledore's return from the Voldemort soul cave!
- [DUMBLEDORE is calmly talking to DRACO, who has come to the Astronomy Tower to kill him. Harry is listening in from down below.] In a world full of magical bulls*it that is completely unnecessary, there is apparently nothing called an "anti-eavesdropping" spell. They can create invisible train station entrances, fix eyeglasses, and other completely useless s*it. Like dancing cake toppers. Have I mentioned this movie has magical dancing cake toppers? Because it does.
- [DRACO: Don't you understand? I have to do this.] Honestly, leaving the assassination to Draco...who thought this was a good idea?
- Also, potions can turn people into other people, so why didn't Draco just stay at home while Bellatrix drank a potion and pretended to be Draco? She could have ended this really quickly, like on the first day of school!
- [GREYBACK: He doesn't have the stomach. Just like his father.] His father casually tried to kill Harry in The Chamber of Secrets, so...where does this sudden idea that Lucius doesn't have the stomach to kill innocent people come from?
- [SNAPE: Avada Kedavra. (he casts the spell on DUMBLEDORE, who dies and falls from the Astronomy Tower.)] Snape is a dick to Dumbledore.
- Also, since we know later that Snape and Dumbledore planned this...does Snape's soul still break in two after killing him? That's how I heard it works, anyway. Kind of a harsh penalty to pay for an agreement like this.
- [BELLATRIX: (casts a spell to harm HARRY, laughs afterwards) SNAPE: No! He belongs to the Dark Lord.] Wait...you mean...she didn't know that Harry was being saved for Voldemort? Then why did she wait to kill him in that wheat field earlier?
- Also, if he belongs to the Dark Lord, why doesn't Bellatrix just take Harry to him? We know why Snape won't do it, but she doesn't have any reason not to.
Movie Sin Tally: 149
Sentence: Split it in TWO!!! (Wait...)
Edited Movie Sketches
[SLUGHORN is Disfigured from his chair-like disguise. Zidler's Rap from Moulin Rouge plays.] "Outside, it may be raining. But in here, it's entertaining!
[DUMBLEDORE puts the room back in order. A Spoonful of Sugar from Mary Poppins plays.] "For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down..."
[SNAPE is making an Unbreakable Vow to NARCISSA, with BELLATRIX present to state the vows.] "By Grabthar's hammer, what a savings." (I'm afraid I don't know what film this is from, although it sounds like Alan Rickman's voice. Please someone find out what movie it is and put it here, as well as removing this. Thank you!)
[DUMBLEDORE is giving a speech to his students in the Great Hall.] Once, there was a young man... [interrupted by a song that I cannot understand the lyrics of or discern the name of. Again, as above, please someone correct this.]
[We are at the orphanage, where DUMBLEDORE has set RIDDLE's wardrobe on fire, as he has stolen someone's diary.] "Please sir...I want some more."
[Cut to the Quidditch try-outs.] CORMAC: Think you could introduce me to your friend Granger? Wouldn't mind, uh, getting on a first name basis, know what I mean? "Say no more, say no more! Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge! (from Monty Python's Flying Circus Episode Three, during a sketch called Candid Photography.)
[Cut to the courtyard outside Hogwarts] McGONAGALL: Go to your houses! "A plague on both your houses! (presumably from an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet)
[Cut to the Astronomy Tower.] SNAPE: Avada Kedavra. (music from another film that I don't know the name of plays as DUMBLEDORE falls, presumably for comedic effect. Again, could someone find out the name of the film please?) "I hope that's not a hostage."
[Cut to DUMBLEDORE tasting the dragon's blood.] "What if that had been poop?" (from Baby Mama, 2008.)
[Cut to GINNY running through the long grass outside of the WEASLEYS' house.] "If you build it, he will come." (from Field of Dreams, 1989.)
[Cut to RON drinking the antidote for the love potion in SLUGHORN's office.] "That's enough for me." "Aww, come on! Listen, d-don't worry about too much wine. I mean, I'm not going to let you have too much wine because, you know, your folks may smell it on your breath, and they might get mad at me." (again, not sure what this is from.)
[DRACO pulls the blanket off the Vanishing Cabinet, then places the bird inside.] "Pretty bird. Yeah, can you say 'pretty bird'? Pretty bird!" (again, not sure what this is from.)
[The Vanishing Cabinet open slowly, as the DEATH EATERS are about to emerge from it. DRACO walks away. BELLATRIX, GREYBACK and two unknown DEATH EATERS appear.] "I haven't been f*cked like that since grade school." (again, not sure.)